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The Espy

The Espy

A rich beer and smoke smell permeates the very fabric of this notorious dive. Drugged wildlife add to the charm, whilst the low light levels and ugly bar fittings enhance the incredible ambiance of this historic boozer cum music venue. The threadbare carpet with requisite gaffer tape and butts is just as expected, the beer is cold and the music is hot. And the beach is close if you need to sleep off your hangover. Even some of the local sleazebags avoid this place because it is just too sleazy! The beautiful building is of great historic and cultural significance.
The URL below is not their official website, but close.

Petit

Petit Bar

The place used to be an underground bowling alley, but is now rebuild into a bar which explain it's oblong shape.

The lighting and toilets is as bad as you can expect from a sleazy bar.

It's worth a visit...

Hotel Esplanada

Dili is quite a backwater and the Hotel Esplanada helps a lot. Hotel Esplanada is a two story building with the entire top floor an open air bar. That is better than it sounds since local mosquitos carry dengue fever and malaria so bring your repellant. Still, its a great place to see the expat community and UN workers. The Hotel Espalanada is one the waterfront in Dili, not too far from the Korean Embassy. There are no identifiable street numbers there nor many street names so this will have to do. The sea view is worth it and the company is great.

Johnny Volt says check it out.

Oasis

Putrid toilets usually. Loud off-key caterwauling from drunken patrons attempting Karioke on some nights. Also have live bands occasionally.
The best music is usually found on the jukebox. Talent Scouts from Nashville occasionally frequent here, but usually on nights when the bikers & their wannabes are sparse. I don't recommend any food here. Be forewarned = you take your chances of joining the "Disease of the Month Club" if you take home an easy free pickup partner from here.

Bill's Bar

I remember my dad taking me there when I was little and he place is exactly the same. Bill's bar hasn't changed in almost 35 years. Two stinky bathrooms, no food, beer can sculptures behind the bar.

The patrons (and that being kind) are a mix of druggies, drunks and derilicts.

The place usally closes around 5 am and opens around 11am. There was one time when one of the drunks had his head down on the bar, they thought he was sleeping, when they went to wake him they found that he was dead! He had been there for a couple of hours and no one noticed. The beer on tap is cheap and cold, and the bartenders friendly. A great place for people watching.

The Yale

The Yale

There are a lot of "Blues" Bars around the world, but the creepiest, dankest, most-ready-for-demolition and, therefor, one of the best is the old Yale bar in downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

This dimly lit brick building would surely become a mass grave in the event of the predicted "Big One" earthquake that experts say is due any time now, and the musicians try their best to emulate said big one with the shear volume of their playing. You can walk in perfectly capable of hearing birds sing, and leave with as much audible ability as a granite boulder. The compensation for this is the fact that these guys not only play LOUD, they also play exceedingly well. Read more »

Big Jer's Titanic

Overlooking the Carribean Sea and central market. Forty-five minutes from Guatemala. American and Belizian food. Cold beer and mixed drinks with friendly people. Local information center.

Random bars

Bottomz Up

Portland has a lot of bars that sell themselves as dives but a pitcher of PBR will cost you an arm and a leg.
At Bottomz Up you will pay at most $4 a pitcher and on select nights (Tues. and Thurs.) you pay $2.50. Any good sleazy bar needs some pool tables and Bottomz Up doesn't dissapoint with a few 3/4 sized tables.

There is no smoking in any bar in Maine any longer but you can be damn sure this place would thick with smoke if those dicks in power let us do our thing! The clincher for me is no white hat f*ckers dare show up and the place is owned and operated by a Vietnamese family that serves kick ass cheap noodles and other Vietnamese specialties.

Unfortunately they host karaoke night once a week and that just sucks balls (sometimes it's funny).

Miami

Miami

Recommended by "friends who know", located at 3831 St-Laurent, a place with loads of regulars, and more alcohol per dollar than in many other places around the area. Quoting from another review (see link) and confirmed by the "friends who know", "Melissa Auf Der Maur of Smashing Pumpkins and Rufus Wainwright were both regulars when they lived here."

Kings Bar and Grill

Kings is the home of the pickled brainered!
people fuck in the bathrooms, condoms on the floor put out cigarette's on the floor and maybe a on a mild nite you might get the chance to pick glass outta your head or ass! and a free titty dance from the barmaid who is drunk and missing a few teeth. check it out!

Main Street

Mainstreet

something like 6th street in austin TX but then belize style in a coastal town with no tourism whatsoever
try any shack on mainstreet, there is probably a bar in the room under your hotelroom...peak through the cracks!!!!

Antonio's Nuthouse

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Great dive bar, somewhat cheap drinks, many pool tables and pin-ball games, all kinds of junk hanging on the wall - not "cute antique junk" - REAL JUNK! Free peanuts and resultant peanut shells all over the floor. Good selection on the jukebox. Many bar-fights have happened on a regular basis. Near Stanford university but outside the limits of their "no hard alcohol" rule that was in effect for many years, Antonio's is not just a student hang-out - many sorts of drinkers, drunkards, bikers, barflies and other classy low-lifes can be found there from the entire north end of Silicon Valley. Bad, but usually not totally gross bathrooms. There used to be a good "Hoffbrau" on one side of the room but now there is a Mexican resturaunt that serves OK food during the day. Read more »

Club 404

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Unpretentious neighborhhod bar. Great cheap steak specials for around $10, served by a waitress who calls you "hon".

Black Watch

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This nearly windowless neighborhood Scottish pub is located right in the heart of downtown Los Gatos and is considered by some to be the area's best dive bar. The place is popular with its customers--from bikers to college students. Those who frequent the pub are invited to bring in their own pizza, burritos, sushi and other take-out food to satisfy any hunger pangs, and when it's not crowded, they can even bring their dogs in to rest on the dark carpet. All of this adds to the atmosphere of this sleazy bar where the night owls don't emerge until the sun goes down. Things can get loud, crowded and rowdy. Read more »