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Commercial Hotel

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The King Cheese of Sleaze?
Ah yes, for many a generation the Commercial Hotel, aka Blues on Whyte has been catering to some of the sleaziest people in Edmonton.

From their vomit-encrusted front sidewalk down to the unnaturally wet floors in the bathroom, I have yet to have the courage to set foot in a bar scuzzier than this.

I know that there's some bars downtown that just scream class with their "no knives" signs, but if ya want sleaze that's at least tolerable, the Commercial's the place to go.

I call it sleaze for the masses. Gotta love them bikers and the plethora of mullets that can be seen! Not to mention that it's open really, really late.
Plus, the glasses are dirt-ay, but do ya have a problem with that punk, do ya???

The Sindrome

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The Sindrome (connected to the Spotted Dog in Willesden Green)

Hmmm, sticky floors, loud (deafening) music, a lot of it live bands, over priced beer when all the other pubs are closed. You've got to love it. Thing is, if you can get out of there with out at least a snog, let alone a warm breast to lay the night on then you must make Quasimodo look pretty.

The Spice of Life

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This one has regrettably been given a make over, but here's how it was:Variety, according to my dictionary, is a collection of unlike things. In its theatrical use, the word means entertainment - a series of short unrelated performances or acts. The Spice of Life public house in Cambridge Circus in the late 1980's was all of these, and more. Perhaps its location so close to Andrew Lloyd Webber's Palace Theatre had some significance. The performers in "The Spice" as it was known had no professional status. They were amateurs in the plainest sense of the word. Wide eyed, they were there against all odds, out of time, out of place and, to the casual observer, well out of order.

To the passing glance, The Spice was the sort of pub you would never go into for fear of catching something. Outside, its bilious green paint and shabby peeling walls, with grimy curtains hanging from their rails and front door that looked as if it had been kicked open and shut mercilessly for years were enough to deter the casual tourist. Read more »

The Village Idiot

The Village Idiot

One of the top sleazy bars going. Serves Pabst cans for $1.75, and this is Manhattan! You can also find PBR on tap!Its on the corner of 14th and 9th.

The scantily-clad, gorgeous bartenders will do shots with the patrons, when they're not hosing each other down with soda water. They will also pour liquor down your throat while standing on the bar.

I almost hate to put this review in, because now its going to be more packed than usual, but it deserves the credit. This is the top place in the city, bar none.

The Home Court

Plywood floors, hasn't been painted in 30 years. Duck taped barstools, never been cleaned, serves microwave popcorn, hot dogs (without a bun) and oodles of noodles. The men's bathroom is a small closet with just a urinal inside. Someone puked in the urinal and it was promptly painted over.

Airport

I need to travel again... explaining the concept of 'sleazy bars' evokes too many interesting places from the dark corners of my friends' memories. And of the cities they come from.

Airport, Am Dobben 70, Bremen. Opens at 11 at night. Beware, they already close around 5 am during the week, but in the weekends you can be surprised by how light it actually is when you get out, even in the winter. And the fresh air...!

Other places in Bremen on their way, once the memory of my friend is restored sufficiently to allow others to actually try and find the place. ("It's somewhere on a crossroads.")

Grossman's Tavern

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Hearsay, but from a trusted source, and with a website promoting the place through reviews such as "The crowded tables will be full of half-filled pitchers of draft beer, and the air will be layered with a smoky haze." and Everything is covered in a layer of grime and ashes.

This is not a case of bad housekeeping; this is character. This is the real deal.

It's at 379 Spadina, about a block south from College.

Random bars

Bottomz Up

Portland has a lot of bars that sell themselves as dives but a pitcher of PBR will cost you an arm and a leg.
At Bottomz Up you will pay at most $4 a pitcher and on select nights (Tues. and Thurs.) you pay $2.50. Any good sleazy bar needs some pool tables and Bottomz Up doesn't dissapoint with a few 3/4 sized tables.

There is no smoking in any bar in Maine any longer but you can be damn sure this place would thick with smoke if those dicks in power let us do our thing! The clincher for me is no white hat f*ckers dare show up and the place is owned and operated by a Vietnamese family that serves kick ass cheap noodles and other Vietnamese specialties.

Unfortunately they host karaoke night once a week and that just sucks balls (sometimes it's funny).

The Crow Bar

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This is where "everyone thinks they know your name"! If you're not in the mood to be approached by drunk rednecks, don't go there!
Can be fun when someone you have never seen in your life, comes up to you and puts their arm around you saying, "Hi buddy...how's it going?"....and you're wondering if maybe you were too drunk to remember who this person is????
The bathroom has a sign: please hold handle down for 10 seconds!....If you don't do this, you better run!
Karaoke night is fun....most people who can't sing will try and think that they sound like a pop star. Sometimes you have to leave because it sounds so bad.
There are some good pool shooters here...just leave your weapon at the bar. Read more »

Cafe de Unie

Cafe de Unie

SLEAZY! "Located in the Gelkingestraat near "de Grote Markt".
Black tape on the windows to avoid people to be able to see what's happening inside(?)

The place is packed with a mix of carribean drugdealers, carribean girls, white trash on drugs and white sluts on coke who will talk your ears of.

If you want to have sex with one of them just ask directly. Always people on the toilet sniffing coke, but sometimes they are really polite and will ask you: "You don't mind, do you?"

Blues Bar Traubka

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Brno is Czech Republic's second largest city. However, there are not many things to do, except for going to the old castle of Spylberg and ofcourse get drunk in the one and only, number one sleazy bar of the world: Traubka. Read more »

Holland Bar

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Located at 532 Ninth Ave. (Midtown West) Between 39th and 40th Sts. Wow. I didn't know this place still existed in the new New York City. I had to meet my friend in the area and I wanted to go to a bar. I looked this up on the Internet and thought it was safe enough. I ended up being 20 minutes late. I found my friend at the bar sipping from a bottle of Budweiser(yech) while slowly but noticebaly giving sidelong glances to the barflies.

There was this woman in her 50's, noticably drunk and just yelling to herself as she walked up and down the bar. Sometimes she would get a response from the bartender or apparently some regulars at the end of the bar. It was hard to say. Read more »

Last Waterhole

Last Waterhole

Budget hotel and bar, with inhouse dealer by now, definitely smokey with a low ceiling, live music every day, usually from the same group of musicians. Great place to meet all those young tourists drooling over amsterdam's culture, 'cos it's nearly in the redlight area, close to central station.

Check their website for some pictures and more info. The sign "don't put your cigarette on the pool table" says it all, I'd say.

UPDATE: this bar has moved to Leidseplein area

Hole in The Wall

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Great little sleazy bar with live blues music. The roof leaks, the bathroom stinks, but what cold beer and great greasy hamburgers. One of the bartenders, Kiki, weighs about 300 lbs and looks like she washed her hair sometime last year wants you to do body shots with her.