I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
When I arrived 12 years ago in Boulder Colorado, on the first night in town I asked somebody in the street for the sleaziest bar in town. I went there and never left! For 2 1/2 years i was a regular of this absolutely sleazy bar, and i have a lot of stories, which i won't recount here. I am still a proud owner of a '10 years Sundown Saloon' t-shirt.
From what i have heard nowadays you are not even allowed to smoke a cigarette in the streets of Boulder anymore. The Sundown is where all the local smokers gather, because this is the only bar where they allow you to (illegally) smoke a cigarette.
I still have fond memories of watching the Simpsons with all the regulars on the big screen, drinking the absolutely supersleazy Pabst Blue Ribbon from pitchers. This is where i met all my sleazy Boulder friends, some of them homeless, sleeping in their cars but never missing a night playing pool in the Sundown.