Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
El Zorro Bar
In the city known for sleasy bars, El Zorro is famous for the ambiance, a pair of fairly burly gentlemen will greet you and poin the way to your table, the place is almost completely dark, after a second a girl will sit next to you and ask you to buy her a drink, if you do so, she will remover her top and let you fondle her,
Here you can get lucky for a few pesos.